Here I am. A new story to share. One that I never thought I could write about but never gave up on believing could be mine. How does someone go through so much heartache and sadness and never give up on the idea that love can still be out there for them?
My parents taught me everything about a loving relationship. Theirs was one that almost lasted 60 years until death did them part. I watched my mom’s heart shatter when my dad was nearing his final days. She never left his side. It was hard to watch yet all I could think is how lucky we were to witness this kind of love. How do you find that kind of love? Love starts with infatuation for that one person but it can only evolve with care and kindness that two people work on daily. On their 50th Anniversary luncheon at our church, they were asked to share the secret. My mom took the microphone and explained that love must be treated like fine silver. It must be polished daily in order to shine. I have held on to those words forever. Then 5 years ago shortly after my father passed away I drove to Pittsburgh to help celebrate another anniversary party for my Aunt and Uncle. My aunt is my dad’s sister and I love her like another mom and clearly that amazing thread of love was woven tight by my grandparents. She spoke that day and she said the most important quality in a mate is for them to be sweet and kind. I looked towards all these words to guide me and I would never settle for less. The most simple thing to find in one person and yet it alludes me for decades. I knew I would not give up but I must love myself enough first in order to see that person when he arrived. I questioned everything about who I was and what I allowed and it really all happened after Oct 1, 2017. I completely reclaimed that place in my heart that I knew what I wanted again.
Online dating is ugly. There is no other way to explain it. What people say they want and what they really want are two different things. In my last blog I explained what finally made me make the decision to log off forever BUT what I haven’t shared is what happened on that very last day where I said “ENOUGH”.
I had put my account in time-out mode or whatever it is called for 3 weeks and I finally opened it back up to delete my footprint forever. Here is some advice to any or all of you. When you log off any of those sites delete all your words and pictures before you cancel your subscription. If not, your photos are on there forever. Your words become internet property. Be diligent. Imagine down the road you are in a relationship with someone and then one day you are defending why your single friends are seeing your profile on some online dating site? Think about it.
Anyhow…as I was clicking off my last picture forever the site prompted me with “Are you sure you want to delete your profile picture? You won’t have access any longer.” Ummm, yep. But before I did that I thought I would take one last look at all the ridiculous emoji’s or ridiculous messages of nothing more than “Let’s hook up”. Buried in all those messages was one that had arrived around the time I went into time-out mode. It was a simple message and he had a nice smile. I responded and apologized for not answering for so long and that I was literally logging off this site forever. He responded that he was too and that he was just going to live his life and buy the boat he always wanted. I replied that he should do that and that I was lucky to have had parents that had boats and how we were down at Edgewater Yacht Club for years and then a few other places. He replied that he knew Edgewater and that he grew up near there. I then replied that I grew up in Lakewood and graduated from LHS. He replied “This just got weird. I graduated from LHS too.” WHAT???? “Do we know each other? I am logging off but here is my number if you want to talk.”
He called me that night and we talked for 2 1/2 hours. It was the easiest conversation I ever had with someone. We agreed we should meet but when? We started talking on a Wednesday and met on Friday the 13th. The significance of the number 13 is another blog to share but after years of wondering if that good and kind person who could break through to my heart even existed and I am here to tell you…he is.
I will wrap up this post by sharing that I just called my aunt last week and we talked about him and I reminded her of her words and she asked for me to send her pictures of us. Her text back was all I needed.
“I’m very happy for you. Sweet and kind are the most important qualities in a mate. <3”