Hello Allentown!

Is anyone counting the number of times I have moved yet? Even I gave up. Here we are all moved into our next apartment with two toddlers and our pup in Whitehall, PA. I actually loved this location. I had made some friends who lived close by. We were right near the mall. Great parks. Easy access to all things in the Bethlehem-Allentown area. So much to do and fun things happening for my kids to participate. I had even managed to get a great part time job at the Bethlehem YMCA and my kids became “Y Brats”  This is where they attended pre-school and then on days I worked there was child care until their dad picked them up and they pretty much ran around the Y all day long. It gave me an outlet to meet and talk to people so I did not feel so isolated. Isolation would come at the next move. Yes, we aren’t done yet. In the meantime I loved living here. I still traveled constantly to Long Island to see my beach and be with my dear friends and give my kids as much beach time as possible. The pictures from all those trips to the beach make me smile because all our babies are all grown up and it feels like yesterday. Funny thing is though, it was always me going with them. It never was all of us. He was always working. Always. I know he had vacation time. He chose not to take it. We literally did not do family vacations. That is why it was so important for me to get the kids to the shore as much as possible. It felt like a vacation. I can sit on a beach all day and never get bored. Who would like to take that challenge? We built sand castles, we splashed in the water, we watched the kids do the customary “burial of a child in the sand up to the neck” and we played jelly fish wars. The kids played all day and those are some of my most favorite memories of my children. Buying beach jewelry and ice cream from the Fudgie Wudgie guy and bagels and coffee on the way in the morning. We had beach time down to a science with all the kids. You know, on the rare occasion I can get back to the beach, the cadence is the same. We plan for an all day outing. There is no rush at the beach. And yet I am living in Allentown. LOL! I will not be challenged by location! At least in our new place I can find more exciting and cultural things to with my kids. I was hoping to settle down here and finally call it home for our family but God has always had this amazing plan for me and offered me another challenge. At some point I did take a new part time job because I really could only work weekends so I got a great job with a company called This End Up Furniture. It was right at the Whitehall Mall and I could get there in less than 10 minutes with traffic. I loved working there. In fact my journey with them continued through our next move, but more about that soon enough. I started to hope that we could plan buying a home in this area because raising kids in an apartment with no yard and being on the second floor was challenging. I couldn’t just open the door and say “Hey, go play in the parking lot and be sure to watch for moving cars.” Oddly enough, we never talked about it. I look back on it all and perhaps I am so jaded that I think he just didn’t care? I know our finances were improving but can we at least explore it? The answer is no because his job was constantly changing within the company. Upward movement meant no guarantees where we were headed. UGH!!!! I just want to settle down. I was envious of all my friends who set up house. I really never asked for much. I didn’t even care that he didn’t take time off for us. Listen buddy, I get your limited involvement but there are 3 of us over here building a family for you. The frustration was real for me but I said nothing because that’s what good wives do. Right? Whatever. It has taken me years to get the nerve to put all this in writing and I don’t care because it’s how I felt and no one should be taken for granted. No one. I love my kids ferociously and I fought for that for a long time. So now we start talking about having a third child. Alright. Where the hell are we putting another baby? Maybe this will push us into buying a home. It’s all I want really and I get another baby. Okay. I like this idea. Well baby #3 took a while longer to arrive. I never had trouble getting pregnant before but for some reason this wasn’t happening on demand like the other two. Something is up with me internally. I started paying attention to my body and all kinds of things were happening. I was losing hair, couldn’t sleep, dry skin and I was constantly freezing and I felt irritable constantly. I just figured this was just another day of being a mom. Nothing had changed in my routine. Still going to the Y with the kids so I could work out and then…wait a second…how did I gain 12 pounds in less than a year? I’m to young for it be hormonal. I didn’t go to the doctor right away but it was after the blizzard of 96′ rolled through that I started to feel even worse. I made the appointment with my gynecologist and she agreed something was wrong with me. She saw the weight gain because, painfully, scales don’t lie. She suggested she check me for pregnancy so she took a urine sample and that was negative. She also did an internal and nothing indicated I was pregnant. She then sent me directly to the lab for blood work because something was up. I went right from the office to the lab and results would take a day or two. On the evening of day two she called me at home after hours and asked if I was sitting down. I for sure thought I was dying when she said that. She then asked if I left her office yesterday and stopped to have sex with my husband before I had blood drawn. I replied with a laugh and said no. Why? She said she swore I was not pregnant in her office the day before and the lab work shows that I am in fact pregnant and my thyroid has stopped functioning completely. This explains all my symptoms over the past year but now it is extremely important to be on meds immediately so I don’t lose the baby. Welcome to Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. It’s a lifetime thing. Get used to it.

My husband came home shortly after that phone call and I broke the news to him. He was happy to hear we finally got the news we wanted and we never talked about our housing situation until a few months in to the most nauseating pregnancy ever. Morning sickness is not exclusive to mornings and even the word “chicken” could make me vomit. Good times. Here’s the best part. About 4 months into this he announced we were moving again…….I. Just. Can’t.

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