This would be a different pregnancy for sure. Lots of morning sickness and with this medication for my thyroid issue I strangely lost 10 pounds in the beginning. Not to worry because at about month 6, my body said “Hey, it’s time to expand this woman’s hips, butt and feet!” It didn’t help that I craved Dairy Queen Blizzards. It could be 9:45 at night and my husband would look at me and ask if I was going to make a run for it. DQ closed at 10pm and I would grab the dog for company and go get my fix. It was equal participation as he joined me in the pregnancy food craving feast on a regular basis.
The bigger discussion was the fact we would have to move to the Wilkes-Barre area. This is up by the Northeast extension of Pennsylvania. Ugh. Why?! I love it in the Allentown area. His commute back and forth was just going to be too much with us having our third child and we had already experienced his inability to come home during the winter months because the roads were impassable. Where do you want to move me to anyhow? The Poconos? Besides the Champagne Towers, what is in the Poconos? Nothing. Nothing is there. We decided to start looking for a house in the Mountaintop area at about my 7th month of pregnancy. Up until this time I was just too nauseated to drive that far. Our house hunting didn’t last long though. It was a really hot August and I had gotten so dehydrated that I actually went into labor 6 weeks early. I went to the hospital and they pumped me up with fluids and stopped the labor and then looked at us and said “You are on bed rest until we get you as close to your due date as possible.” Haha! I have 2 toddlers and a dog and a husband who is never home. When should I rest?! I also had to drink enormous amounts of water until this baby arrived. Staying hydrated with little ones running around is a challenge. We put our move on hold until well after her arrival which was mid October. I do have to share a quick funny story about her birth. This marriage wasn’t completely tragic after all. Anyhow, a few days before I went into labor, our cocker spaniel had surgery to be neutered. We brought him home the day before I actually went into labor. He was wearing the cone around his neck post surgery to keep from licking his stitches. When I announced that it was time to go to the hospital, we had made arrangements for a friend to watch our children and off we went, leaving our dog at home…..with the cone of shame. I guess he didn’t like those stitches or that cone. I delivered my baby at 5 p.m. We spent the next few hours inspecting all her cuteness and trying to figure out a name. After complete exhaustion my husband headed off to our friends to collect the kids. Oh my god….this part…as told to me by him. He arrived home and was carrying two very tired children up to the apartment and our dog greeted him at the top of the steps bleeding everywhere. He had managed to rip his stitches open, cone of shame be damned! All he could do at that moment was carry the kids back down the steps, grab the dog and drive to an emergency vet. He then had to carry the kids into the vet while also managing the dog. Welcome to my world buddy!! He handed the dog over and the vet said he could pick him up some time the next day. According to my husband, he told him to consider it a mini vacation for the dog. He would come get him in about 3 days. He then headed back home completely exhausted. I am not feeling bad right now as I write this because it still is the funniest thing I can remember. I was all tucked in at the hospital with my new baby girl.
Our time was winding down in Allentown. We would soon start house hunting in Mountaintop. We found the home we would buy. The view was spectacular and that’s about where it ended. All of it. I look back on those 3 years there and I read my journals from that time and they are the saddest words I’ve ever written. It’s strange when a relationship actually ends. It takes a long time of looking back and reflection to realize it didn’t end on the day you both shout that “I’m done! I want a divorce!” No. That’s not the moment that defines the end. Look further back. Think about the moment you felt that knot in your stomach or the hurt in your heart that said, this is something more than a passing moment. I know in my heart, this move is what killed our marriage. It pulled us so far apart that we would never recover.
…more about that in my next blog post
A Voice For Women 