I cannot be serious for any great length of time. I acknowledge that. But hey, life is short so why not enjoy it. I cannot deal with people who have no sense of humor or live in fear of what others think of them. I am not perfect. Not even close. Here’s the reality. You are not being genuine to yourself if you worry about every word that comes out of your mouth. I am not suggesting you go spewing vile statements…but good grief people…LAUGH. Allow me to give you that as a distraction from the normal blog posts as I think I need it as much as you.
“First world girl problems.”
I had a lovely event to attend the other evening. In preparation for this event I selected a beautiful baby blue Calvin Klein dress. Perfect. It was comfortable and I felt like a lady in it. One thing about growing up was my parents were very particular of how I dressed when I stepped out with them to various functions. They always wanted me dressed as though I was attending a debutante function and I am far from that socio-economic status but it was important to them to teach me social graces. I do love that they cared because it taught me many things about SHOPPING! Ha! My father gave my mom and I carte blanche to prepare for such events as long as we left him at home or dropped him off at the boat or where ever he wanted to head for an entire day. We took shopping very seriously and he was okay with it. He loved to see us dressed.
So this event is approaching. Did I need a new dress? No. I’m sure I had another CK hanging in my closet that would work, but I needed an excuse to shop and there it was. Putting together a look is a process for me. I think about everything from head to toe including the undergarments.
This is where the real story begins….(and don’t tell me you can’t relate)
I was shopping on my Amazon a few weeks back and was looking for something random and I fell down the rabbit hole. I stumbled on bodysuits. The kind you wear under your dresses. I thought “I don’t own one of these and I bet it would make my dresses look nicer if I did have one.” I quickly clicked and added one to my cart and because I am a Prime member it was to my door in about 15 minutes. It sat on my dresser for almost two weeks as I decided when my first adventure into this undergarment would begin. I chose poorly as I thought I can try it under my new dress! Yes! Perfect! I did not have a test run with this and I should have because there are these tricky little hooks that require re-fastening after you disconnect them. How in the actual hell do you bend and arch your body and arms to reach those suckers?! Here was how it played out. I arrived in my lovely baby blue CK dress with this undergarment and before I entered the venue I made a stop at the ladies room to “freshen up” one last time. I got stuck in the bathroom stall because I could not refasten the hooks. It was not happening. I was the only one in there and it’s not like you can ask for help for this type of issue. I felt like I was a contortionist trying to master two teeny tiny little hooks. I was starting to break a sweat. I realized I had no backup if I ripped this garment off completely. I was screwed. I am not joking when I tell you I spent a good 5 minutes on this. Then another woman entered the bathroom and I knew I had to figure something out quick because I am not stuck in this bathroom stall huffing and puffing to fix it! It was a moment a terror. I dug down deep and managed to connect only one of the hooks. This would have to do. I don’t have any other choice to walk around for the rest of the night praying to God that the one hook would hold on and not SNAP out of place. Every step I took felt like a step toward disaster. “Please, please, please don’t let go” is all I could think. The images in my head were that snap saying “Hey, watch this, hold my beer. I am going to roll this garment up past your waist, out through the top of your dress and fling across the floor of the museum.”
That is paralyzing fear right there. Yep.
I survived the evening as I sailed around the venue ever so delicately and then graciously made my exit. I arrived home and hung up my lovely dress and threw the bodysuit in the trash.
Have a great day and don’t laugh a little…laugh a lot!
A Voice For Women 